It’s not love

I see this sparkle in your face
Hearing your voice
makes me excited
If I feel anxious
I lean closer
To you arm
But I idolize things
I collect hope from dreams
And I’m certain
My mind
has taken me
this far

You told me “never” once
You promised me forever
You took an oath
And you swore
to God
But that I’ve heard before
It still sounds ever lovely
When promises turn
To tear you

I don’t trust my eyes
When they tell me
you look better than you did
All those times
I saw you
They try to hint at my feeling
Giving legitimate reasons
As to why
They are things
I shouldn’t ignore

I held your arm
In my hands
I didn’t need you to stand
I was capable
Of walking
To my door
But it seemed
Kinda nice
It was weird but polite
I was self-conscious
But I’d been there

I don’t see you
as special
You’re not the greatest fellow
Not the greatest person
I’ve ever
Yet met
You’re not really
The smartest
But you love like an artist
And somehow
That’s hard to

This is not
But feels rather indecent
The way I dream
Love into
My heart
My mind’s all irrational
And seems to want passion towards
Anyone close enough
To leave it

I thought I was in love once
But I can’t say that that’s true
Does love feel
Like swallowing
Great shards
Of ice?
Or is that just the end?
Like being hurt
By your best friend
It was perfect
Before all the sugar
Was traded
For spice

I don’t know you
Well enough to love you
Despite what
My common tendencies
Would like
To think
But I’m growing rather fond
And that scares me beyond
All the past fears
I’ve gone over
With my shrink


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