Personal Struggle: Words


I open my mouth
And words fall out
And scatter across the floor
I gather them up
But oh, tut tut
They’ve multiplied in 2’s & 4’s!
My arms are too short
I’m sad to report
To hold them like this for too long
I must let them go
But oh, what? No!
They’re bunching together all wrong!
Sentences like
“Oh, where did you go?”
Seem to fall simply to “Where?”
Speeches and songs
I’ve rehearsed for so long
Are all found with patches and tears
Those who are listening
Furrow their brows
And ask of me, “What was that now?”
I glare at my words
Those giggly fiends…
The question is never “when?” but “how?”
Fix it I must
Because they gather to dust
As I sort them all out in my mind
But let them all out
And without a doubt
There will be some lagging behind
I twist them and tug
Throw some under the rug
But they wriggle themselves back on out
I say “Please, conform!”
But I forever mourn
The way that they frolic about
They dance in circles
Mimic cyclones and whirlpools
Causing hazard and running amuck
Then they stop so abruptly
Never quiet, never subtly
So they can show the whole world that I’m stuck
When I calm myself down
As I’m so tightly wound…
They seem to be tamer, more mild
They’re less stuck on my tongue
Where they’re usually hung
And seem to be fairly less wild
When I lighten my mood
Still not altogether smooth…
They at least make coherent sense
If I’ve had enough sleep
And make sure that I eat
My mind’s clear enough to keep them unminced
So I take in deep breaths
Try hard to decompress
All the feelings I keep deep inside
I try not to be nervous
So my words are then fervent
On keeping themselves straight in line
It’s an ongoing struggle
Since my mouth tend to muddle
All the thoughts I’d like to convey
But if I’m consistent
Less tense, more deliberate
I find I know just what to say


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