Grey Area


grey

You look at the world in black and white. All I see is grey area.

The thing about me is I don’t see things as temporary. The moment that you hurt me you hurt me eternally even though eternity eventually passes.

You might see contradictions to this. Possibly from things I’ve said before? When I said to you that nothing lasts? That all things come to a halt and I’m always well aware? And this is true. I am always well aware. But I live in the present. When I feel, I feel strongly and the strength of the feeling lasts forever. Even if forever is contained within a moment.

When things don’t work well, I think of failure as a permanent state. The pain cuts me deeply and I’m wounded for life. Until it passes and I am left completely content and satisfied, the two most permanent feelings in the world.

And it’s funny to me that something that feels so permanent can live in a state of such impermanence. In this grey area where nothing is truly true, everything is relative, and contradictions actually make for more genuine statements. But then, I suppose, if you word it that way, it’s really not all that surprising at all.

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