I’ve been thinking about you. Yes, again. About whether I like You or merely the idea of you. You know, don’t you? That all-consuming idea of you that keeps me up at night. All night. That idea that’s keeping me up right now.
I’ve been thinking that there is a difference between someone who is genuinely nice and someone who is polite. You see, being polite is a learned trait made habitual through practice. Polite people smile when things are supposed to be funny, they agree when things are meant to be agreed upon, and say what they believe should be said. However, rarely do a polite person’s actions or words mirror their true thoughts. Those are hidden, unspoken, tamed. On the other hand, a nice person says things because their good heart compels them to. Their words are their thoughts. Although they have polite traits and do not always speak their minds, there is a conspicuous difference between the driving force behind their words. It’s pure. It’s loving. It’s just different.
You may be a polite person, but I’m not totally convinced of your niceness and that does make me like you less. And it does slightly disappoint me.
You know that girl is quite the same way actually; polite, I mean. Which makes me think that your attractiveness to her is based deeper than you realize. Disappointing. I’m also not sure she likes you much. I feel bad about that. Maybe she too sees that you’re probably just polite. Ironic isn’t it?
I have somewhat depressing love songs on repeat… Oh my…
The problem is your face is stuck at the forefront of my mind, but then so is your politeness, causing me to want to see it less.
I want to get to know you better. I want to see which one is true. The problem is, in the moment I probably wouldn’t notice. Next to you, close to you, I forget that you may Just be polite.
It’s all very confusing…
Signed with love or something,