Take THAT


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There was silence in the halls. No children shouting. No stomping of feet echoing through them. Just silence. And it was unnerving. Ana wasn’t used to all this quiet. It was true, she had asked for it more times than she could count. She had begged her husband to take them fishing, or camping, or on any other time consuming trip that she herself would find nauseating, just so she could have that one moment of silence, a silence unbroken by the wails of children and a peace unencumbered by the painful agony of barefoot trodden Legos scattered across the floor. She had asked her husband for a day. One day where the sounds of “Mom”, “Mama”, or “Mommy” weren’t immediately followed by the phrase “can you…?”
“But, Ana, sweetheart, Mother’s Day is in a couple of weeks and summer soon after. Can’t you….” She stopped him there. No. She could not… she would not wait that long. She needed her silence, her solitude, her silent appreciation, now. He must’ve sensed the impatience in her voice. He gave her a week.
But what to do? She sat down on the couch to contemplate. She had been waiting for this day a very long time and had made a list of all the possible activities. She could have a spa day, go shopping, talk to the friends she hadn’t spoken to in a while… See a movie, go to the beach, get her hair styled… All possible and yet… all so far away. There was so much fun she could have later, but now? Now, she could only imagine herself quietly sitting on the couch. She unconsciously began reclining, stretching her body out ever so slightly in order for her body to form fit completely.
“Form fitting” was why she had bought this couch and made it her personal luxury. Since her bedroom was so far away and couches so convenient, it was this ability that had really sold her, but that’s not what this couch was doing. It was not “adjusting to every curve” like the ad had mentioned. It was not “slowly fitting to perfection” like she had once experienced. No. This couch was just lumpy and there was a very specific bump piercing her side.
She got up from her position, reached underneath the cushion, and sure enough there was something lodged beneath her personal seat cushion. From what she could tell, it was hard and plastic. How odd… there wasn’t a television in there so a remote was out of the question… but it also had… hands? She yanked the intruder out unmercifully. Of course, it was Jonah’s favorite action figure. She scowled at it. How dare it impose on her comfort! It scowled back. The more she stared at this intruder the more angry she became and by the end of their stare-down she was bursting inside.
“Ahah!” she exclaimed as she flung it across the room. Bang! It had hit the wall across from her. She had seen a foot unceremoniously fly in the other direction and hoped to high heaven the blow hadn’t scratched her paint. She had just gotten it done. But, oh, she couldn’t worry about that now. Now, she was tired. She curled back into her original place on her wonderfully, form fitting couch, sighed, and closed her eyes.
“Mmmmm…” she mumbled with a smile, “…take that, Aqua man…”

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